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Ancient Painful Memories Surfaced… and My World Caved In…

Ancient Painful Memories Surfaced… and My World Caved In…

Well, folks, even those of us who have been trained and grounded in the use of thought controlling skills and tools can be blindsided if we are not mindful. Surprisingly, I was just recently sabotaged by negative thinking patterns. But this heart-wrenching experience brought a new realization, a new perspective, a new beginning, new insights, and a new view. For that, I am so grateful!

I was an emotional mess before I learned the tools taught in both the VisionLight™ Thought Training Course, and the GO Broken to Beautiful emotional healing course. Like so many of us round the world, I, too, have experienced trauma: two rapes as a child/teen, abandonment, mental, emotional, physical abuse, and…overwhelming feelings of “not good enough.” I thought I had addressed and processed those painful memories, and was flitting about my merry way, when BAM! A “trigger “opened the flood gates to massive thought annihilation. I watched the cinema play out in my mind’s eye the ugly scenes that had previously plagued my being. I saw the details, felt the feelings, and plummeted further and further into a deep, dark hole without even realizing it. It all happened so quickly—and within an hour or so, the foreboding thoughts in my mind held me captive. The dark clouds corralled me; I also felt the shame, the guilt, and the sadness that came from making poor choices earlier in my life. The storms raged inside my heart and mind and I wanted to crawl away into oblivion.

I didn’t even THINK to use the skills I had learned! I didn’t even THINK to WANT to pull myself out of the hole! I WANTED to wallow. I wanted to grieve and feel justified in my thought choices, “I am not good enough.” My thoughts were spinning out of control and I chose to hold myself captive as a victim once again.

BUT…as we teach in the VisionLight™ Thought Training courses, and ESPECIALLY in the GO Broken to Beautiful course, it is wise and highly recommended that we walk through the lessons with someone we can trust, someone who can hold us accountable, someone who would never use our “weaknesses” or sad experiences against us, someone who can remind us of skills and tools learned, someone who truly has our best interest in mind.

My husband Jesse came to the rescue. He asked me what was going on in my head. My hands covered my face as I sobbed in the midst of the storm. In his great wisdom and out of his tender love for me, he held my hand, and together we sat quietly for a bit. Jesse then turned on the TV and cued up one of the very videos I had personally prepared for our GO Broken to Beautiful online and live classes. As soon as I heard the music from the video, my heart leapt, and I immediately STOPPED the negative deluge, and healthy, nourishing thoughts began flooding into my brain. I regained control and exercised the tools I learned to direct my thinking. The storm quieted. I quickly came up for air.

Jesus Christ had already paid the price for all this! I was not a victim! I was a VICTOR! I HAD overcome all the self-incriminating thoughts and all the horrible feelings and memories that had once chained me and swallowed me into nothingness.

As the video unfolded, deep feelings of gratitude filled my soul. The thought control skills and tools I had learned through my own thought training once again demolished the evil self-inflicted shackles that bound me. My heart rejoiced. I thanked my God that He had so quickly lifted that which could have held me down in a deep and unrelenting depression.

I learned much through this experience. First, I have a God that loves me NO MATTER what I have done, no matter where I have been, no matter what life has thrown at me. Secondly, I learned that unless I am truly mindful and practice these skills and use these tools consistently, Satan will employ whatever weaknesses or memories I carry to sabotage my progress—through my very own thoughts!

I put a note on my bathroom mirror that reads, “Remember who you are!” lest I forget again the lessons that keep me from sabotaging my own sanity and serenity. When I see the note, I remind myself, I am a daughter of God; I am valuable, I am capable, I am loved, I am forgiven, and I CAN CHOOSE to stop and eliminate negative, unwanted, unproductive, paralyzing thoughts and chatter in my own head.

This experience gave me reason to review all I had learned through these marvelous uplifting and mind-liberating courses. I have the ability to be who I CHOOSE TO BE by purposely directing my future on purpose, with purpose.

All is well….and I walk as a Victor once again.

…for all practical purposes, we choose everything we do, including the misery we feel. Other people can neither make us miserable nor make us happy. All we can get from them or give to them is information. But by itself, information cannot make us do or feel anything. It goes into our brains, where we process it and then decide what to do… we choose all our actions and thoughts and, indirectly, almost all our feelings and much of our physiology. – William Glasser, M.D., world-renowned psychiatrist

I share with you the video Jesse so thoughtfully shared with me that day…the video that I had prepared FOR YOU originally, that, ironically, came to my own rescue! I am confident these thoughts and principles will help you on your own journey of becoming.

With Infinite Love and Gratitude,

Rene’e La Montagne Dunn



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